Get Out of My Facebook!

It's amazing to me that the creator of the world's most popular and successful social network can be such a socially awkward imbecile. Of course, he's probably the most intellectual idiot in the history of America, so who am I to bash someone who's making more bank than the rapper Lloyd has in his last name? Well, he may be the one racking in the trillions of dollars, but I'll be dissing him anyway.

It was just recently brought to my attention that the man I am referring to, Mark Zuckerberg, father of Facebook, was deemed Time Magazine's 2010 Man of the Year...uh...cricket, cricket. Is anyone else as speechless and mogadored by this as I am? What the fligga has he done in 2010 that was so incredible? Changed Facebook to the hideous layout that it currently is right now? My dog is more deserving of the title "Man of the Year," and my dog is a female.

I could maybe understand if this was awarded to him when Facebook was first introduced to the world, but why now? About three-quarters of my Facebook friends stalk people via computer all the time like he did, so if they created a social network for the sake of stalking, maybe they'd receive the title "Man/Woman of the Year." I never knew it was that simple to make it seem like you're a great person. If it was an award that required a speech after receiving it, then I guarantee it would be ripped out of Zuckerberg's hands because the dude just gives everyone the heebie-jeebies. He reminds me of Keanu Reeves-you don't really mind them until they open their mouths and start talking. By the way that Zuckerberg, or Suckerberg, converses, you would never guess that the kid is rolling in the dough like Pillsbury.

Maybe I'm being too biased because I'm not exactly on the best terms with Facebook right now. I mean they allow me to change my name to "CGal NotSeagull" and "Caroline Galeotachocolatemilk," yet my real name gets rejected by the automated approval system, and I'm told that it does not exist. Excuse me, but I think I know my own name, and I'm pretty sure I'm here, and I do exist, so listen up, Suckerberg, your website is seriously mistaken. Honestly speaking, though, I can think of an endless list of people who would be more worthy of "Man of the Year" than Mark Zuckerberg. I'd even put Kanye West above him, and I know Taylor Swift would undoubtedly agree with that one.

I just don't understand why Time Magazine would do such a thing. He is the youngest chosen Man of the Year since Charles Lindburgh in 1927, but back then, the guy actually deserved it. Zuckerberg, please do me a favor and get yourself out of Time Magazine, refuse to take the title of Man of the Year, and get your socially awkward self out of my face...book. Oh, and by the way, thanks for Frontierville. That's just about the only thing I appreciate from you.

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