Danielle Staub: The Real Psycho of New Jersey

Everyone has their guilty pleasures when it comes to television shows. They're like the Twix bar that we know we shouldn't eat, but it's so delicious that we do anyway. For half of America, their guilty pleasure series is Jersey Shore; for closet dorks like me, it's Ghosthunters; for the rest of the world, it's The Real Housewives of... whichever place sparks their interest. Anyone who has ever seen the series would probably agree with me that the housewives of New Jersey, New York, and Orange County have been the most entertaining to watch. They seem to have been the supreme masters at overtaking the tabloids, whether it be by flipping tables, "singing" about being a Countess, or toilet papering a former housewife's house.

At this moment, on my desk, there is an issue of In Touch magazine with New Jersey housewife, Teresa Giudice (the ultimate table-flipper), on the front cover with her four little girls. There are six pages dedicated to a cover story on how her husband did not cheat on her. Honestly, who cares? For reasons that I cannot seem to comprehend, a lot of people apparently do. In the cover story, Teresa speaks of how Danielle Staub, the Devil of the New Jersey housewives, has tried to bombard her life with rumors and make it crumble like a burnt cookie. Danielle seems to have that effect on people. After reading the issue of the magazine, I went to Internet Explorer to check my e-mail, and on the aol.com homepage was a story about this horror show of a housewife. Consequently, I found out two things that I could not even begin to fathom: 1. She believes that she's the "Susan Lucci of reality t.v." and 2. It's actually legal for her to get a spin off show.

I am completely flabbergasted at how this could be possible. In the article, she is quoted saying, "It's gonna be all about me, my family, and the real Danielle Staub that my fans and loved ones have been dying to see." Firstly, fans?! Plural?! With an 's' at the end and everything?! Wow, she really must be delusional if she thinks she has more than one. Secondly, any fan that she does have will be gone faster than you can say "psychotic" if she shows them "the real Danielle." I'm not sure if Jenna Jameson herself could swallow a pill that big. She goes on to vow that she will be 100 percent real for the entire time on the new show. Uhh.. is she missing something? She was already part of a series called The REAL Housewives, and she couldn't even be authentic on that.

Whichever television channel is willing to air this spin off show is seriously mistaken. That would be like pressing the self-destruct button or summoning its own death sentence. There are television stars that people hate to love, love to love, and love to hate. Well, Danielle is one of the rare "stars" that people just plain hate. She's the kind of person who can irritate to no avail and even make a Care Bear fall into her web of insanity. I'm merely just making an estimated guess, but my spidey senses are telling me that this show isn't going to blow up anytime soon; it'll simply just blow... And so, I say 'boo' to the spin off. Danielle, do us all a favor, and please replace "spin" with another four letter word that comes to mind.

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